Wednesday, June 26, 2013

"Got my Mojo workin'...

...but it just won't work for you."

Powerful magic...some's got it, some's don't, but it derives from African folklore called "hoodoo," and is usually a bag or amulet containing objects of power or spells which enable the user to affect others. Some might call it the "mojo hand" or "gris-gris" in the Caribbean, as is heard in music or stories. What about this hand, you ask? Well, ancestor respect and recognition is powerful, particularly in West African culture. They would often take the fingers and hand bones of their dead ancestors to connect their spiritual inheritance and family power to the present. This leads us to the next question relating to the use of a "black cat bone," as is mentioned in the title of our blog. We must reveal that all who read this and are connected to its influence are woven into our control! Have you been feeling particularly energized lately?!

It so happens that a black cat is a symbol of both good and bad luck in African cat culture it symbolizes bad luck, however, as one would catch a black cat and immediately boil it in a pot of water at midnight to capture the maximum "juju"...oh no! another reference. Apparently, as I haven't tried this (animal lovers back off), one particular bone of the cat is essential to use and is determined by the personality of the cat and the user. 

We have a black cat in our household and I'm going to tell you right now, up front, that the particular bone I would use would be the neck bone, because this is the bone I would throttle when she bites me if I stroke her in areas she doesn't approve of. But back to my story.

Another way to determine whether the bone you need has the right magic is to throw all the bones in a river and see which one floats upstream. I have to ask at this point, What happens if none of them do? Dang! I guess we need another cat.

"They" also say that if you take a mirror and hold it up to the right black cat bone, it won't reflect. This might explain why our cat looks like a deer in the headlights when I attempt any such crazy action (don't ask!) and takes off like a rocket...or it could be that she could be a wee bit suspicious that I have some retribution for previous bites up my sleeve? It's a never ending "lunge and riposte."

There is another advantage to a black cat bone that I haven't mentioned, and that is if one uses the bones of our furry feline friends, you don't have to dig up those of your family, which simplifies things quite a bit, particularly in 21st century America.

Most southern mojo bags are made with a red material, but they say a seasoned practitioner will coordinate the color based on the intention. Things you don't learn in interior design school. 

A study into the history and etymology of "juju" informs me that it was often used as a spell to ensure that a  Nigerian woman sold into slavery and trafficked in Europe for a life of prostitution, would not escape or break her could be used to affect the outcome of a football game. I love the comprehensiveness of this spell-binding business. There is good juju and bad, like saving a lost kitten -- I might have a problem with this one as their bones look enticingly interesting, or returning a lost...prostitute, let's say, which sits in that grey area.

Let's look at some mojo bags and see what we can concoct!

The first thing that most West African tourists do when they come to America is troll Bourbon Street in New Orleans to get their mojo bags custom made, and the exchange rate is pretty good here as well. These in this photo do lack some authenticity in color and romantic taste.

I have a mojo bag that unfortunately I cannot show you as it would lose its juju, but I'll describe it here. It is made from the:
  • Ballsack of a wild boar
  • Contains a letter of divorce decreeing that all property and earnings be awarded to ex-wife, forever
  • Juju that forces people to stand in the longest line in the supermarket
  • Energy attracting Republican friends
  • The scent of the cologne of the most annoying people in public
  • The venom of the Inland Taipan Snake, the most deadly in the world
  • Venom from 100 irritating mosquitoes
  • The 10 best thank-you speeches from Miss America Contests
Now it's time to hear from you!  Build your Mojo Bag. Send your requirements/ ingredients and we will choose the best one to publish in the forthcoming book.

Let's listen to the story from Muddy Waters:

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